avail

i know missed yesterday but i was busy with working and trying to get to the phillies game last night. i'll make up for it with avail today. they will still remain on my favorite bands no matter how old i get. every time i've seen them i was never disappointed. dixie will always be my favorite album no matter what..

west wye



sidetracked conveniently five steps from the mainline
fresh off a grain porch drinking swill
down from picking up in maine
counting change
"oh how i, i would do anything for that old junktrain to turn manifest
and highball, yeah i'd sing that railroad song by the time the sun is setting
in the west"
no time or purpose as embers smolder
holed up in pines of green
pablo writes "dos" where mouths don't share what their eyes have seen
"see those days are gone and i can't stand one more
i've fought this war counting miles alone
i've seen it all, every goddamn state
out here son it's as rough as i have known"
all i have known with sky above as home
and ground beneath as bed is to ride fast
live slow and without regret
"i've got no time for regret
those thoughts solve nothing in the end
i've got blistered hands
and lived full through rejection
long endured
'cause i came up poor
"hell no i, i wouldn't change a thing, those old junktrains all turn manifest
and highball, yeah i'll sing that railroad song by the time
the sun is setting in the west"


south bound on 95(one of favorite songs)



boredom in this mobile home in nowhere u.s.a. somehow gotta make it home to richmond v.a. when i'm there i want to go but when i'm gone i don't i'll make it anywhere but here but here is where i've got to be anywhere but here i've gotta make it to dixie


simple song



going over in my head what seems like everything
remembering commitments
that nowadays just blend
i don't know where i'm going and i don't think i care
i had my taste wound up misplaced
bounced off those troubles clear

did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?
did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?

decisions made without regard returning as regrets
i knew they could but thought they would come crashing with success
they know nothing about me and i really doubt they care
but that's alright cause by myself i do fine anywhere

did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?
did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?

it seems like i shouldn't have pushed it
hid myself and lost focus for a change
shouldn't of made myself committed
i got to know that one by now
i'm better off without

going over in my head what seems like everything
remembering commitments
that nowadays just blend
i don't know where i'm going and i don't think i care
i had my taste wound up misplaced
bounced off those troubles clear

did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?
did i trip myself up again?
did i see more than you did?

it seems like i shouldn't have pushed it
hid myself and lost focus for a change
shouldn't of made myself committed
i got to know that one by now
i'm better off without



the falls



to all the years full of front porch stories
failed plans and procrastination
to r.a.g.n. sowing what others may implore
i've been broke and forlorn and caught out with the best at acca yard
oh it just goes to show, to desert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
to all the years full of backyard parties
winters in hibernation
to assaulting views with dominion at our door
healing but scarred
there's bullet holes in a porch in jackson ward
oh it just goes to show, to desert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
it goes to show, to dessert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
i sat back to consider what has been within a decade counted
should i fly? should i settle?
will i find peace in time, in the face of growing old?
to all the years full of untold stories
futures free of isolation
to all those gone who in thought and heart live on
on and on you never gave up and i got this far
oh it just goes to show, with friends like these to leave
i would be crazy
it goes to show, with friends like these to leave
i would be crazy



Lombardy St.



ately i've been thinking not about what you said but what you did if you're behind it you decide i'll survive i've been spending time looking out instead of in gotta keep reminding myself begin means end and i'm walking through the alleys in the morning and i'm trying to do some thinking i've gotta know this time for sure tell me why i'm feeling pressured tell me why you feel alright but still i don't i caught myself believing every word that was said and that's fine i'll learn to depend on myself in time 'cause i made some decisions that just barely left me with an opinion or identity of my own tell me why i feel below you tell me why you feel alright but still i' don't would you feel like a stranger if i turned and walked away? would you care if i stayed? the many times i've been through this have i learned from mistakes i've made? i may try and if i fall i'll pick myself up again i don't want your lines and i don't want your sympathy 'cause i'm trying to break old habits and i want to do that on my own tell me why i'm feeling pressured tell me why you feel alright but still i don't

alkaline trio

radio



Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm making my plans for revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'd drive straight off the edge

Taking your own life with boredom,
I'm taking my own life with wine -
it helps you to rule out the sorrow,
it helps me to empty my mind
Making the most of a bad time
I'm smoking the brains from my head
Leaving the coal calling the kettle black and orange and red
This kettle is seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm planning out my revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'm seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall
Plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall




stupid kid




There are things that used to make me smile
One of them was you for just a little while
You left me for dead so far away
I replaced you with fear and shame
You'll be happy on the day I die

There are things that used to make me laugh
But now they're deeply buried in the past
I left them there so far away
Replaced my humor with my pain
I'll be happy on the day it dies

Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

There are things that used to make you cry
One of them was me for just a little while
Why is it that you had to say
Goodbye in your special way
You slashed the tires on my car

Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

Remember when I said I love you
Well, go ahead I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

private eye



I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye

snapcase/strike anywhere/100 deoms

i missed saturday and sunday since i had plans and really couldn't find the time to post. so i am posting saturday and sunday as well as monday too.

MONDAY

strike anywhere


sedition




Which lie is the one
that will take me
and which war
Generations of wage slave data
family stories they said don't matter
when the last breath burns
in the throats of Bhopal
will I feel the blade
when they bury them all
Hiding from us
all this time
ghosts flickering
and out
of my mind

Dead End Streets
We walk by
No Retreat
Staring at the sun
Dead End Streets
the blast shadows
are waiting for an answer
all this time

I'll give them mine

If I could
walk in my grandfather's footsteps
while they glowed in the dark
on his way back from the yard
where the train was parked
I'd say
Don't turn your back
Don't you trust those bastards

I wish I could say this now

Don't Walk By
No retreat
Staring at the sun
Dead End Streets
the blast shadows
are waiting for an answer
All this time
I'll give them mine

Into our history…
Not even a letter
to fake a smile
to say 'I'm sorry'

Our trust in this system's dead

what will it take
to make you sorry?

Hiroshima started in Tennessee
Let it end with me
Let it end




sunset on 32nd




When they broke down the door
and put their guns in the face of your wife and child
and as they pinned you to the floor
did you say "officer, i am not resisting you. " ?


American Justice american dream
is this what ' the other half ' means
half of our lives dissolved in fear
half of our rights they disappear
is our apathy so corrosive
where does the cycle start
hear the sirens screaming out in the distance
hold your family close to your heart


American Justice American Lies
a war of words that I despise
I wish the good cops If they exist
the very best
and a bullet for all the


complications injustice deliberations what's the deal
they fake it, we break it, and take back what they steal
we could rise black and white unbound and make them pay
for every tear, for every fear, defend our yesterdays


when they dropped the bomb on the building to kill a MOVEment
did they care where the rights of the murdered went
police terror in the eyes of the children
police terror in the streets of every town
where's our freedom when the sun goes down
and will the houses that the landlords built keep out the bullet sound


American Justice American Lies
a racist prison
anaesthetized
I wish the good cops If they exist
the very best
and a bullet for all the . . .


so we try
to defend
together


defend our yesterdays , defend our tomorrows
together





SUNDAY

snapcase

steps



i want to live my life, live it my own way over throw the shame, the shame you dealt brought me to my knees always trying to please you instead of living for me, you say you say you know whats best for me time change the time has come for me to change and you controlled my dreams, i never asked you and i never agreed to your requests goal destinies i abandoned you and now im free, now i, i live my life live it my own way forget yesterday no expectations just my ambitions identity the choice is up to me



caboose



do you know yourself
do you know the others
can you pull the weight that rides on another's shoulders
once you've lost yourself to the acceptance mask
well could you find yourself
it's not a simple task
self-inherence
freedom
comes from within
take a different track
it's time to see what you are made of
can you expose yourself
can you peel off another layer
will you make the time
the time to control
because only you can save yourself
only you can save your soul
and once you save yourself
insecurities will die
genuine qualities
and true character will shine
now that you belong to you
what will the others think
well, soon they'll follow you
you'll see they're all so weak
come on
can you, let go
can you, be you





SATURDAY

100 demons


repeat process




This was the time, the only time I thought that it would all work out.
Make a believer of myself without a doubt.
I made a pact.
I swore and swore and swore again.
But here I stand.
Rage unbridled.
Not what I used to be.
Pain so vital, it's necessary.
My dear I'm so sorry.
I can't control myself.
It's real, no story.
I am broken again.
Through the times that I kept myself in control.
Oh! I felt free, free from all the fear that was controlling me.
It was only just a whisper form my breath.
It has returned and so I wait for the...
Rage unbridled.
Not what I used to be.
Pain so vital, it's necessary.
My dear I'm so sorry.
I can't control myself.
It's real, no story.
I am broken again.
My only love I throw away.
Turned into coal now as she lays.
I dig this hole.
I've lost my way.
Rage unbridled.
Not what I used to be.
Pain so vital, it's necessary.
My dear I'm so sorry.
I can't control myself.
It's real, no story.
I am broken again.

good clean fun

i would have liked to post other songs but could find any other videos to post. i could post every song from good clean fun but i'll save the space. enjoy. stay posi..



the myspace song





Paula came from DC,
She was a whole lot like me,
She grew up on Star Wars
We went to shows in the park,
Professed our love in the dark,
Roadtrips and hardcore
It was according to plan,
We were like Lloyd and Diane,
Two hearts in the same place
Then you know what she did,
She met an Internet kid,
They fell in love on MySpace

I know that websites don't kill,
But sometimes they will
Sometimes they will break hearts
I know that I'm an adult,
But Tom it's your fault
You created a monster

Dave didn't know what to do,
Yeah he was Tom's victim too,
Sheila left him last week
Now he is all doom and gloom,
He won't come out of his room,
The Neighbors hear Morrissey
Heartbreak has its appeal,
I know how emo kids feel,
But that is not for me
I wrote one sad quiet song,
And we can all sing along,
But we will stay posi

Now he sits in the darkness as events recur
She sits in the light of the monitor
And he knows he's lost her by her demeanor
Internet grass is always greener


on the streets





This is the new revolution we're building a brand new society
It's about time we find a solution and not let it slip away
It's time that we all work together
This little thing we call unity has the power to make it all better
And that is why today

We'll all be on the streets
Saving the scene from the forces of evil
Side by side, living our dreams
All the positive people

We'll fight our way through the frustration
Overcome negativity
To us it is not a temptation
Because that is not the way
All that is needed to start this is a healthy dose of positivity
We've found our way through all the darkness
And on this brand new day

We'll all be on the streets
Saving the scene from the forces of evil
Side by side, living our dreams
All the positive people

*BONUS* brutal truth

a little bonus since brutal truth is playing philly tonight. it's been 9/10 years since i've seen them. can't wait....

dementia





front, front life

life in sedation
no mental addictions
frustrated mind tangled in lies
progress dementia

do follow your instincts,
let others be
guide your own life
through reality
perceive depictions,
why can't you see
blind to real life, can't see

life in sedation
no mental addictions
frustrated mind tangled in lies
progress dementia
fueling the industry
death's futile misery
fueling the industry through
death's futile misery, progress
dementia

for what you see is your life
for what's to be is no life

do follow your instinct






dead smart




you cut me down
behind my back
turn back the facts
reaching your conclusions
your theories lack the facts
and that's a fact

you think you have the answers
with not a shit to say
rip apart my every thought
before it's ever said
fuck off - fucking little trendy
brats bored of spending
mommy's cash

blinding lies,
making blieve it's real
thinking you're something...
yeah, you're dead smart

you think you have the answers
with not a shit to say
before you start to answer, i've
got one thing to say
fuck off - fucking little trendy
brats bored of spending
mommy's cash

turn back facts
delusions, what you say
conclusions, what you said

jimmy eat world

a few jimmy eat world songs for you to enjoy. i know you are going to say "the middle"? what the hell? yeah. i do like this song. it's really a good song even though it was played to death on MTV. the video is pretty funny at the same time. i love clarity and bleed american is just a great way to start off an album. i love a lot of other songs from the other albums but i wanted to post these. enoy!


bleed american



I’m not alone cause the TV’s on yeah.
I’m not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
Our lives.
I’m not alone cause the TV’s on yeah.
I’m not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade, our lives.
(I bled the) greed from my arm.
Won’t they give it a rest now?
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt, our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade




the middle



Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.


clarity





I'll take your words as if you were talking to me.
Say what I know you'll say and say it through your teeth.
With pride keep every failure in.
And with pride hold on to the sinking.
Now in the deep and down your heart moves.
Now in the deep and down, I don't know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better.
Will I know when it can be us?
Maybe that doesn't mean us.
Wait for something better?
I shouldn't, it's not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.
Just one excuse from another.
This time it means us. stop.

hey catrina / the boys no good

hey catrina




Hey Catrine I know it's true when I'm sitting in my room. But sometimes knowing is not enough, when time is what we've lost. Hey Catrine I know it's true when I'm sitting in my room. But sometimes knowing is not enough, when time is what we've lost. Hey Catrine I know it's true when I'm sitting in my room. But sometimes knowing is not enough, when time is what we've lost.


the boys no good



Tune the electric bass to the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th string. The boy's no good. Yeah, he's a fuckin' hood. He won't treat you like he should. I heard he's making time with this friend of mine. I heard he's talking trash. I saw that kid last night. He's starting fights. He's got that nervous twitching. He's just not the kid for you. He's all dressed up. He's got nothing to do, but he's got something. He's cool as anything, but he's not good. That boy's a fucking creep. The boy's no good. Yeah, he's a hood. He won't treat you like he should. I said the boy's no good. He's a hood. He won't treat you like I would. I said the boy's no good. Listen to what I say. The boy's no good. He'll fuck you anyway. The boy's no good. I'm gonna have a talk... the boy's no good. The boy's no fuckin' good.




i found rise against's cover of "the boys no good". not bad...

love is the fall of every man/ set your body ablaze

one of my favorite bands ever. ever since i saw them when chad was singing with them(the time the split w/ indecision came out), i loved them. when geert(sp) took over, it took me sometime to get into them again. but after talking to geert a few times in pittsburgh and cleveland shows i was back into them. always the nicest guys and my friend matt( dark day dawning) even played guitar with them. it was a good surprise to see him playing with them the last time i saw them in pittsburgh. these songs are my favorite. love is the fall of every man has been used by me a lot(email addresses xfallofeverymanx, s/ns and it is still my favorite quote). how can you not like a band that takes their names from the giant sandworms from dune. haha enjoy!


love is the fall of every man




I stand on the edge of destruction emotionally ruined By the warmth I most desire I will not fall prey to love of a human kind For love is weakness Love is the fall of every man Take this heart you've claimed and as it numbs your hands Know the flame is dead and will no longer burn This body will never pain again This mind knows no wound Though I am of flesh this flesh will not consume me As it has destroyed so many before This body will never pain again This mind knows no wound The flame is dead left only with ashes of memories That renew faith in hate and my faith in myself Nothing can break me This heart remains free from the burden of love Yet this heart will be sustained No hope No compassion I fill my heart with strength



set your body ablaze




I fortify this easily splintered bone into a stronghold of will
as the balance of man lay beaten in the wake of its own frailty.

A horde eager to accept deceit and more so to speak it.
Words will sear the throats of all who freely beguile.
The trught burns through my veins and in my black heart.
Breathe the flame that will overwhelm you; flaw ignites swiftly.

A product of conceit so absorbed and vain that he thinks himself divine;
he is sure to die.
And man must truly be God; for he has tried so hard to create me
in His image, a formless shadow deprived of life.

I am the wayward son of man.
My fathers have darkened what was the warmest heart the world
would have ever known.
Relish in what you have created.

Set your body ablaze.
Hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn.

this blog is where i will post a song or songs of the day that fit my mood for the day or just whatever i've been listening to recently. i will try to include a video with each selection and the lyrics will be posted to. enjoy and be amazed by my ecleptic music collection.


i am going to include the first 3 entries that i made on my myspace blog in this post.


8/8/08

accident prone

i wanted to post this. this is my favorite jawbreaker song.





What's the furthest place from here?
It hasn't been my day for a couple years.
What's a couple more?
And if I go, don't forget the one good thing I almost did.
I learned your name without words.
I used my eyes, not my hands.
What's the closest you can come to an almost total wreck and still walk away,
All limbs intact?
And when I go, you'll be there crying out, begging me.
I won't hear.
I'll just go fast into this night on broken legs.
A near miss or a close call?
I keep a room at the hospital.
I scratch my accidents into the wall.
I couldn't wait to breathe your breath.
I cut in line,
I bled to death.
I got to you, there was nothing left.
What's the meanest you can be to the one you claim to love
And still smile to your new found friends?
In the same confusing breath,
You pull away and draw me in.
I wanted you. You wanted more.
I built this life and now it's mine.


8/10/08

Redemption For The Innocent

this is my favorite all out war song. i've been listening to them a lot recent. in a close second would be "claim your innocence".




Victims of damnation, drowning in the lies.
Fallen angels of torment, father cease the cries.
In our time we've slaughtered the innocent,
Raped the world in our discontent.
God's creation in disarrary, by the father we have betrayed.
Need proof, just look to our past, strangled life amidst our grasp.
Self destruction we're lost to see, take and take for all our needs.
In a time of innocence, we have poisoned the Earth.
Destroyed the innocent, disgraced our birth.
Revenge upon us by the father's hand.
Witness to apocalypse, and the downfall of man.
All out war, war. All out war, redemption for the innocent,
And the seekers of peace. Ignorance,
Tomb of the masses reaping the piles inside.
Wreaking to divine intervention, by the father's hand.
Welcome to the days of affliction, and the downfall of man.
Sky's are burning, as blood flows.
Lost in torment, our lost souls, creation is in flames.
Man's existence, is to blame





8/11/08

yes i've listening to saves the day(a.k.a. saves the gay.. haha) a lot in the last few weeks. i know this is totally on the opposite side of the music spectrum from all out war but i like a lot of different music. i decided to choose to songs that are 4 of my favorites. you can make fun of me for liking them but it's all good. i'm not afraid to admit it..

rocks tonic juice magic




Let me take this awkward saw
And run it against your thighs
Cut some flesh away
I'll carry this piece of you with me
Because all I can say tonight
is that I hate you
But it would be all right
If we could see each other sometime
If I could somehow make you mine
And if not I'll take my rusty spoons
And dig out your blue eyes
I'll swallow them down to my colon
They're gonna burn like hell tonight
Because you're beautiful
Just not on the inside
Light comes from within
And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright
My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done
Boardwalks and breaking waves
Made our Saturdays
I'd buy you lemonade right now
if you were here
But then I'd throw it in your face
And I'd listen to you cry
And I'd remember how I miss
our nights under ocean skies
You and I are like when fire
and the ocean floor collide.


shoulder to the wheel


And I say, "Just go.
Please, Dave, just drive.
Get us as far as far can be.
Get us away from tonight."
And I say, "Oh, Dave, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to yell,
But I'm having quite a bad week
And I miss my mom."
And we drive
Dave steps on the gas
The world that's flying by is slick and smooth
Just big waves of light
The radio is playing Queen
And we're rocking out
We're going now
'Cause, hey, this is it
This is where we are
Out here where silence is
Seventy miles an hour and the windows up tight
And I am home.

freakish



As I'm talking my words slip to the floor
and they crawl through your legs and slide under the back door
rendering me freakish and dazed.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
So I'll go walking in the streets until my heels bleed
and I'll sing out my song in case the birds wish to sing along.
And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
I'll make my way across the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon,
Where i can forget "you and me" and get a decent night's sleep.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
Don't shut me out.


take our cars now - all the songs off of i'm leaving are great but my personal favorite.



Don't you remember the last time we were speeding down this highway?
Anna slept in the back seat, dreaming in the autumn heat.
We turned up the country radio.
I said, "if you want me just say so."
I slicked back my hair in the wind.
I told you I didn't want my picture taken but you snapped it anyway.
Now I guess you won't have trouble remembering me someday.
So I floored it and swerved around the lanes.
I kept wishing it were you instead of me behind the wheel
so maybe with my camera I could steal a shot of you
and go home to put it in my room.
Maybe you'll never remember me.
Maybe my face will lose these scars,
'cause sometimes they keep me home at night
where I duck under the covers and wince when I see the light.